My Mother-in-Law's Hospice Year, and What It Taught Me

Nobody tells you that caregiving is mostly logistics — pill organizers, insurance calls, the particular exhaustion of a Tuesday that looks exactly like every other Tuesday. I loved my mother-in-law. I was also, by month eight, running on fumes I didn’t know I had.

What saved us was unglamorous: a shared calendar, a home health aide two afternoons a week, and a standing rule that my husband and I would eat one meal a day without talking about her care.

She died in the spring, at home, with both of us in the room. I would do it again. I would also, if I’m honest, ask for help sooner.